Friday, February 7, 2014

Duck Dynasty Recap: Willie Jase Robertson Throw Down

One thing you never do is criticize another man’s burger. The ‘Duck Dynasty’ bros had mad beef on Feb. 5 and had to settle it the old fashioned way with a Deep South cook-off!
Because the guys of Duck Dynasty have conquered the world, they only have themselves to turn on now. It started on Feb. 5, when Willie and Jase Robertson took their sibling rivalry up a notch by going all Top Chef and challenging each other to a cook off. And with the boys doing their best Emeril impressions and Uncle Si becoming Padma Lakshmi, this episode was full of memorable quotes. Here are my favorite ones.
‘Duck Dynasty’ Season 5 Episode 5: The 5 Best Quotes
“If I had this thing in high school you talk about doin’ some math!” Si Robertson
Uncle Si was talking about the benefits of his digital wristwatch of course but WAIT Si went to high school!?!?!?
‘Duck Dynasty’ Drama
“Just because I don’t eat as many, doesn’t mean I don’t know how to cook better.” Jase Robertson
Flawless logic from our man, Jase. But on a show that is literally devoid of conflict, I was excited about this little burger cook-off. Even if it was just a couple of bearded men smashing ground beef down on a grill. Who did you have your money on? I had Willie I just couldn’t bet against that gut.
“I don’t need baskets. That’s what women do.” Jase Robertson
And we have a winner for most offensive comment of the night! But let me get this straight are you telling me that Jase has never gone grocery shopping? Some “woman” has always done it for him? He never like, had to pick up a six-pack of beer real quick, or like seven two-liters of Mountain Dew? Really?
“I love bringing old things back to life.” Kay Robertson
Says the woman who’s married to Phil Robertson.
“They both lose.” Martin
In a shocking turn of events, both Robertson brothers are horrible cooks. Willie makes an inedible pile, and Jase cooks his patty into a hockey puck. So unfortunately, no one wins. I should have seen this coming, especially after one of the guys revealed that he’d never stepped foot inside a grocery store. I know better.

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